Why Do We Feel More Stressed These Days?

Are we really more stressed than we used to be?

In 1969, 36% of women reported being stressed, according to The Prospective Population Study of Women. Fast forward 40 yrs and that figure is now 75% – more than double the amount! But is life in the 21st century really so stressful, or has “stress” simply become an exaggerated phenomenon in recent times?

Surely, life is easier in so many ways these days – and our lives are the most comfortable and luxurious they have ever been. So why do so many people complain of being unhappy / depressed / stressed?

Do we just “perceive” that we’re more stressed these days because we’ve got so much more access to information?  We’re hearing about and reading so much more about these concepts so it’s possible that we’re just more likely to pay attention to how we’re feeling than people used to.  It’s true that we’re certainly more encouraged to talk about our feelings nowadays – as opposed to the “put up and shut up” culture of yesteryear. Have we just become more self-indulgent in modern times?

Let’s think about how things are now compared to the 60’s/ 70’s:

Home life:

We might have more machines than ever, to help us around the home – washing machines, dishwashers, super-dooper vacuum cleaners, etc, but this means that we are less physically active around the home. Exercise is really good for stress, because it helps us to burn off chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol that are produced when we’re stressed.  It also helps to use up muscle tension and produce the relaxation response. Housework is actually pretty good for getting a bit of exercise!

Add this to the fact that most people have cars these days, so walking to the shops is far less likely than it used to be. We’re more likely to drive to the nearest “superstore” or even to get home delivery! So now, instead, we have to squeeze in time to go to the gym or to get exercise of some sort, which actually takes more time out of our already busy schedules.

In fact, because of phones and email, etc, when we are supposed to be having some “down time” at home, we are still mentally on-the-go a lot more – which means we have less time available to truly relax.

Children used to play outside a lot more, they used to grow up with the kids in the neighbourhood, developing their skills with other children through play, and learning from older children. Now children are less likely to be outside playing and more likely to be indoors, playing on their computer, or games console, or watching their favourite TV programmes. They’re not burning off the steam that accumulates, and as a result the home environment can get very fraught. Additionally children have to be taken to so many places now (hobbies, friends houses, etc) by their parents, in their cars, so when do parents really get chance for a rest?

Technology:

We used to have a telephone at home and if you were in, you could be contacted – if you were out, hard luck!

These days, with emails, messenger, mobile phones and texts, there is an expectation that we will get back to people almost immediately. This can be very stressful. Things are much faster-paced these days, but our brains have not yet evolved to keep up with this fast pace. Enter more stress!

It also means that we don’t get so much opportunity for a proper break.  Years ago, parents would walk to collect their children from school, stand at the school gates and have a chat with other parents. All good things as far as stress relief is concerned. These days it’s more likely to look like this:

I drove past a school this afternoon and there was a row of cars parked along the street, and in the driver’s seat of every car was a woman either looking at her phone or typing into it. No-one was stood around chatting.

If we’re not careful, we can spend most of our day looking at some form of screen or other – taking a break from one screen with another screen! These activities are not as truly relaxing as we might believe, and can lead to a build up of stress and tension.

Money:

In the Western world we have more disposable income than ever before. Even the poorest in society have relatively more money to spend than they used to. So why do we feel that we’ve never got any money?!

Because there are so many things for us to spend our hard earned cash on nowadays! From the latest phone / gadget / outfit / (enter your own merchandise of choice), to grabbing a (let’s face it – rather expensive!) coffee every day on the way to work, or buying lunch instead of taking something with you from home, there are so many more opportunities for us to spend money than there used to be. Going abroad on a holiday used to be a rare treat years ago, but now we tend to grumble if we don’t get at least one or two each year!

Everybody’s different in what’s important to them, but we can safely say that money slips through our fingers almost as quickly as it comes in, so it’s very easy to fall into a trap of feeling like you haven’t got enough.

The power of money is relative. So even if you get that “better” job you’re after, or a decent pay rise, your spending will rise in accordance with your wage increase, either because you’re more stressed so you spend money on things that make life a bit easier / more convenient, or you just develop more expensive tastes quite quickly! So before you know it, you feel like you’ve not got enough again. Sound familiar?

Sleep:

And finally, sleep. Ahhhh. Good quality rest and sleep are essential to wellbeing and keeping stress in check. Yet good quality sleep can be quite elusive these days! There are so many more things available to entertain us now and this means that we get less sleep than we used to.

We might be out late drinking with friends, or watching our favourite series on TV, and the temptation is to just stay “out” or “up” a little bit longer, because we’re enjoying ourselves right now (finally relaxing!) and we want it to last longer!

And even when we do get to bed, our heads can suddenly be racing with all the things we have to do tomorrow, or things that have happened today, so our quality of sleep can be affected – despite feeling exhausted all day.

What do you think? Do you feel that life is more stressful these days? I’d welcome your comments.

If you feel frazzled at the moment and think you would benefit from thinking about the above in a bit more detail, plus learning loads of helpful tips and strategies to better manage stress, sign up for my online course, launching in January! It is packed full of helpful tips and tricks, CBT-based strategies, mindfulness, and even hypnosis. What better way to start the new year!

Click here to sign up: